Woken up by strange noises one night, a man named Davis goes to investigate. The phone rings, the T.V. comes on, typical scary-stuff happens. The front door opens up, and Bat Boy (you know, from the tabloids?) attacks him, sticking his fingers into his arm. He then comes to on the floor, no worse for wear.
We then cut to the next day. The rock band Night Gallery, which Davis is a member of, goes to a secluded old house to record their third album. They bring along two sound guys, Mac and Sidetrack, to help them. Tagging along are two girlfriends, Kara and Talia. The band takes a couple hours off, wandering around the house, and sleeping; Davis and Gage go downstairs to shoot up some heroin. A presumed fourth member of the band, Shapiro, shows up at the house mumbling "better late than never."
Soon after, some spooky things beging to happen. A tricycle wanders down a hallway....but no one is on it!!!!!! And there is a crazy art gallery that shows people's fates on it. Band members start dying left and right, and the remaining members are left to figure out what's going on. It seems that a spirit of a murdered boy is haunting the place, and he is "Alone" due to his "Brother." Mysterious guys with wrapped heads pop up and assault the heroes with axes while whipping their heads around violently.
Just what the frick is going on? You'll have to watch to find out, and the answer may surprise you! But, probably not.
Davis - Jeff Thomas
Gage - Daniel Rain
Kara - April Cole
Colin - Rob Yensch
Talia - Sarah Corbin
Mac - Kevin Kuras
Shapiro - Esa Scott
Sidetrack - Robert Miller
Adramalech - Daniel Rowe
Written and Directed by - Jeff Thomas
Apparently this movie won all sorts of awards from various Independent Film companies. What I want to know is: what other movies did this flick go against to win?
Let's get this out of the way: the "acting" in this movie has got to be the worst, ever. I don't mean the worst I've seen, I mean just .... ever. I know this is an indy film and all that, and that's what you're supposed to expect, but damn. Monotone dialogue and blank faces abound. There are, seriously, two instances where acting is actually attempted, and they are both by Sidetrack, near the end of the movie. BAD.
That being said, I can look past that, usually. So, maybe the premise is good? Well, not so much. Someone on a message board said that this was "like Jacob's Ladder." That's a little like saying that the hole outside that you were burying your pet canary in is "like the Grand Canyon." It's obviously missing something...depth, among other things like a script and a point. That doesn't even make sense, much like this movie.
Now that I think about it, this is Jacob's Ladder, minus all the stuff that made that movie so well done. They took all the character study out, made the characters flat, and added lots of gore, and long, pointless shots of the interior of the house. Plus, you get plenty of shots of characters faces half-lit, so it's artsy, too!
Apparently, the evil creatures in the movie have nothing better to do than walk around, usually right in front of the camera, for no particular reason. This is just another thing that is overdone in this movie; every "scary" part is done 5,000 times so it becomes stupid. The Gimp-guys with axes try to do the "shaky person" thing (again, from Jacob's Ladder), but fail miserably. I know it had a point to it, but it just looks stupid.
Some of the kills in here are pretty good; I especially liked Mac's. The effects aren't all that bad, considering. It's just the rest of the movie is so BAD. Ironically, the title refers to how the movie plays with time; funny, considering this movie seems like it went on for about, oh, a week or so. And why does the music sound like it's from Resident Evil?
I recommend that Jeff Thomas, who wrote, directed, and stars as Davis in the film, continues his career. I would love to see some more of his stuff as he gets better at what he's doing; in the meantime, hire some people who can at least pretend to be interested in what's going on, fix the dialogue in your scripts, and don't run things into the ground. Unfortunately, I can't recommend seeing 13 Seconds. Just keep an eye out for Jeff's future work!
By the way, what the hell is wrong with the guy on the cover? He looks like he's either taking a huge shit...or, more likely, just watched this damn movie.Hide Full Review
Apparently this movie won all sorts of awards from various Independent Film companies. What I want t ...
Random violence - yes
Shaky people - yes
Original idea - no
Acting - no
Script - no
Oh no! Bat Boy attacks! He must need work really badly.
Did Gage just have an orgasm?
He's chewing on the tooth? Did he think they were candy teeth?
His beautiful prayer is "Dear Lord, help me?"
I guess the book pissed her off....somehow...
And Davis is body checked by the screeching Gimp!
Upside down Bat-Boy!
Wow..."I'm" pretty hot....aaahhhh!!
Why are his arms stuck in the air like that? Lose the tight sweater man.
So...you're warning him now that he's in less danger?
Kara - "Can't we all just get along?"
Davis - "You know, bite me."
Sidetrack - "You know what bothers me?"
Gage - "Your hair?"
Mac - "About six years, man."
Sidetrack - "So, uh, are you bored with these?"
Colin - "That's not important. What's important is me going back to my room, and getting drunk."
Sidetrack - "You need to tie that bitch up."
Davis - "Don't worry. Nothing ever happens in a library."
Shapiro - "Davis!"
Davis - "Shapiro!"
Sidetrack - "Davis!"
Davis - "Sidetrack!"
Talia - "The basement?"
Sidetrack - "Yeah, the lowest level."
Sidetrack - "Not yet....almost...real soon!"
Adramalech - "Blasphemy is so damn convenient."