Tick tock doc.

It’s the same line that ends the trailer and begins “88 Minutes” after waiting about twenty minutes for anything to happen. At all. Hence why the film actually runs 110 minutes. That of course means, you guessed it, false advertising. I want my money back, and I didn’t even pay to see it.

Then again, if the viewer goes into this Al Pacino comedy…err thriller with a grain of salt located squarely on both eye balls, they might survive the 110 minutes a happier person than when they went in. If they do however go into the film thinking that this will be another classic thrill ride, then they need to check their common sense at the door. Otherwise they’ll wind up with self-inflicted bullet wounds outside the dumpster behind the theater. In the case they happen to rent the film, take the previous sentence and add bag over ones head in the bathtub.

Al Pacino, in all his crazy haired glory, returns as successful forensic psychiatrist Dr. Jack Gramm. After a drunken one-night stand leaves a woman dead, he becomes the top suspect. After all, generally what educated people do after having memory losing sexcapades, is somehow find a way to savagely murder their partner after finding out they don’t take contraceptives. Brilliant!!!

To make matters worse, death row inmate and convicted serial killer John Forster (McDonough) tries to convince the sensationalizing media and the world that he is innocent and Dr. Gramm is a lying scumbag. Unfortunately, the trailer gives away the fact that Forster is in fact guilty. Brilliant!!!

Finally, Dr. Gramm has to keep his aging yet seemingly healthy libido in check for the aforementioned 88 minutes, in order to find out who is behind the threatening phone calls before he is murdered. The reason that Gramm needs to keep his sex drive in check is because every female he shares a scene with wants to fuck his Viagra taking dick off. Including but not limited to his students and lesbian assistant. Alicia Witt portrays Kim Cummings, Gramm’s student who becomes involved in the ticking clock scenario. Cummings, huh? You’ve got to be kidding me! Hell, Alicia Witt is one hot tamale. Something tells me that Gramm, apparently the Italian Stallion in the bedroom, could have had a quickie with Cummings and made the film that much more enjoyable.

This is easily the worst film I have seen involving the name Al Pacino (this guy made “S1mone” and “The Recruit”), let alone the man himself and his crazy hair that automatically made me assume he was the bad guy. The film was disappointingly predictable when you wanted it to be anybody but the obvious (the film would have been better with Pacino as the bad guy). The dialogue is ridiculous, and the acting matches its pitch. All in all, this is probably one of the most poorly executed films I have ever bore witness to. At the same time however, with the right mindset, it can be the funniest and most enjoyable experience a person could ever have. EVER!!!

The film is soooooo bad it should be relegated to the comedy bin at Blockbuster. Lee Lee Sobieski takes a turn for the worst by the end of the film, but the final sequence has some major laughs. Apparently, we are to believe that the serial killer Forster uses mind manipulation (otherwise known as the Force) to control his female lawyers and make them set up Dr. Gramm and ultimately kill him. Oh so dramatic. None more dramatic than when Gramm throws his phone after time had expired and he was still standing. Not sure if he was speaking to his newly fired agent, or if he was speaking to his attorney about making sure this film never saw the light of day. Never the less, it came, I saw and it conquered my heart...err funny bone. Even though my brain was apparently sucked out in the process.

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