Newlyweds Larry and Barbara are on their way to the house of their dreams compliments of Barbara's ex-husband, Del. Works out for Larry, too cause he's an architect working on a project for Del and Raymond. Then again, guess it never helps when they forget to tell the lovely couple about the previous tennants of the house.
Things take a turn for the worst when we decide to watch this movie *cough* I mean when things start to go 'stupid for coco-roos' when Barbara starts to become possesed and experience strange spooky, laser-driven, ghosty stuff.
Larry - John Saxon
Barbara - Lynda Day George
Del - Michael Dante
Dr. Solomen - David Opatoshu
Lea Solomon - Anne Marisse
Dr. Albanos - Mario Milano
Alma - Janice Lynde
Esteban - Zitto Kazann
Raymond - Edward Ansara
Written by - David Baughn, Herb Freed, & Paul Ross
Directed by - Herb Freed
*sigh* Eh well, can't win for, ah fuck that! This movie blows! Which is kinda sad, 'cause I did like Saxon and George's performances. Then again, that was only that. The movie was garbage.
Too long, too drawn out, too *tppppp!*
Flags to be thrown as well. I don't need to go on any more, avoid.
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*sigh* Eh well, can't win for, ah fuck that! This movie blows! Which is kinda sad, 'cause I did like ...
The synopsis that Captain Kangaroo gave up there is actually much too long for what happens here...it's more like:
Movie starts. Waiting........waiting......waiMANNEQUIN CAR EXPLOSION.......waiting.....waiting........waiting........EXTREME PUNCH.......waiting..............waiting.....CRAZYLAZERSANDNOEDITINGCredits roll.
Actually add about 2398473298743298 more "waitings" in there and that's about right.
The "2" for a score is about right, as there are precisely two points in the movie where I went "Nice." One was when the mannequin in a car going over a cliff bursts into flames just as the car becomes airborne...the stress really must've gotten to him, because nothing had happened yet! The second moment was when Wolf's DVD player cut its own wrists for playing a part in this debacle.
What is the deal with editing issues and John Saxon movies? First there was Zombie Death House and now this. Well, technically, this came first, but in any case, what the crap? Near the end I think I developed a learning disorder from the 10 billionth of a second long scenes that try and smoosh the story into ten quick minutes. Time management people! Seriously!
And the music! Composer Pino Donaggio was earning that damn paycheck with this one...it sounds WAY more important than it should, and belongs more in an Indiana Jones flick. There are even a few "DUN DUN DUN!!!!" moments when something mildly bad occurs.
The movie itself actually sort of reminded me of Mausoleum in that it centers on a possessed woman that kills men blah blah blah lasers etc etc etc. I can't imagine this being an inspiration for anyone, so I'm assuming (i.e. hoping) it is just a co-ink-ee-dink.
In any case, don't watch this.
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The synopsis that Captain Kangaroo gave up there is actually much too long for what happens here...i ...
Yawn... Someone wake me up when this is over.
The only real redeeming point I found to this movie was the totally unexpected and unchallenged sucker punch thrown out about 50 minutes in. So if you pick this up, fast forward to the 50 minute mark and watch there. Then stop.
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Yawn... Someone wake me up when this is over. ...
Point - no
Plot - no
Ultimate Disco Laser show - yes
Movie - no
I wanna play! I wanna play!
Man, that water is some hard stuff.
House!
I suppose if she moved, there would be no film.
Why it's never a good idea to film outside of an airport.
Fucking hell, woman! He said he's sorry!
Man, that broad is bitter!
I'll drink to that.
Discoteque?
Extreme UPS delivery!
Extreme-disco-stuntman-falling-scene!
How'd he hear her from all the way over there?
Why get out of the car? That wouldn't be funny.
Who was he waving at?
You wanna change something, change your fucking clothes and save this movie!
How do you die if it falls in front of you?
PG-13-disco-laser-psycho-crusher-death-scene!
Ultra-hadookin!
Del - "Are you sure you're not afraid of ghosts?"
Larry - "Are you kidding? At these prices?"
Barbara - "I just feel like the real me ran off and left a 'yeckth!' in its place."
Del - "One minute you're putting me down, the next you're apple cider."





