SONNY F'N CHIBA!

This is basically every single line in the movie. It starts the damn movie, with some random karate guys breaking boards and the angels are chanting Chiba's name. There's a completely pointless Bruce Lee vs. Sonny Chiba argument between two random clowns that, well, Bruce seems to win. Odd. Later, Sonny chops a Coke bottle in half to show what he will do to the drug lords. Couldn't he just tell everybody? I guess that wouldn't be Chiba enough.

There's no writing credit, which makes sense. I think Chiba assembled some people and told them he was going to beat the hell out of them and film it. Possibly as an autobiography. It seems like a life story, like a documentary. Especially when he flips over a guy and rips his eyeball out...somehow.

There's also no fight choreography credit which makes just as much sense. The early fights are awful! Stunt doubles flailing around and falling down whenever they feel like it - even Sonny doesn't seem to understand what's going on and just throws a punch here and there, you know, just for fun. The fights get a little better later on, especially at the pre-requisite beach fight scene. I'm amazed anyone survives going to the beach - it seems to be the place for vengeance!

The flick is really just a puff masturbation piece for Sonny. Luckily it's ridiculous enough to be a fun time. Sonny punches through walls and eats bullets for breakfast. There's a bit too much driving around aimlessly and none of the characters serve any purpose whatsoever, and the editing is pretty poor in that we don't get a good look at any of Chiba's supposed prowess - except, again, at the beach scene!

Speaking of the camerawork - we get a few pieces of strange art direction, like when Sonny's poor "black belt" sister gets stripped naked and crucified on the shadow of a nearby cross. It comes out of NOWHERE. Of course afterward Miss Black Belt Sister disappears. The early part of the movie is like this, almost told in little vignettes. Almost like they shot 15 different movies and just pasted them all together when they ran out of money.

Strangely, in the end, Chiba's might and God-like powers are unable to save the day. His job as a bodyguard is over, he has failed. The lady is shot in extreme freeze frame mode, her sin splashed across the rocks. There's no damn way I'm hiring this guy, even if people chant his name for no reason and he can chop Coke bottles in half.

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