Alison seems to have everything a girl could want. Popularity, a great assclown boyfriend, a spot on the cheerleading squad, friends, mental health instablities. Who could ask for more?
Hell we don't know. It's not our job to. What we do know is that her and her ragtag buncha teamates are off to some lame-ass, broken down, 'Cheerleader' camp run by one woman and a couple of guys who didn't make the "Caddyshack" films. Whilst Alison wrestles with her episdoes, other campers are being picked off one by one. All fingers start to (thanks to great editing) point to her, and Bonnie, and Brent, and Ms. Tipton, hmmm, maybe Pop. Or, or, it could be one of the guys in that whack-ass band on stage. Or maybe they point to that 49,287 lb. lard man-ass hanging out of the van window.
Screw pointing fingers. Shoulda been pointing guns.
Alison - Betsy Russell
Brent - Leif Garrett
Cory - Lucinda Dickey
Bonnie - Lorie Griffin
Pop - George 'Buck' Flower
Timmy - Travis McKenna
Pamela - Teri Weigel
Theresa - Rebecca Ferratti
Ms. Dee Dee Tipton - Vickie Benson
Suzy - Krista Pflanzer
Sheriff Poucher - Jeff Prettyman
Chief Ronnie - William Johnson (you've got to be kidding!!!)
Written by - David Lee Fein & R.L. O'Keefe
Directed by - John Quinn
I'm runnin' outta yellow flags to throw. I'm gonna have to resort to socks pretty soon. I don't even think I have enough yellow fabric to cover that 32874936874658748959 lb. fucking fat fucking man-ass I just singed my brain with, either!. *grrrrrrggggrgr*
I don't get it. Your movie is about a fucking "Cheerleader" camp and it's a rated 'R' horror flick. You have an "A list" lineup for a cast. You have a 'softcore' movie star, Playboy playmate, Playboy playmate turned hardcore porn star, and a Penthouse Pet. The only one who shed skin was Wiegel and some other chick. Oh yeah, and the bucking-futt ugly as crap head counsler. Naysayers can shut the fuckdamnasshell up about their pride and crap. You know why the fuck these broads were hired.
We also get a washed up pop idol who likes to wear speedos and pack his underwear, a fat fucking assclown who feels the need to be naked more than the cheerleaders, and the chick from "Breakin' 2"!
I'm gonna rip this crap to shreds. The kills were mostly implied, and only had one good one you really didn't see. But it was implied that it hurt! Fucking yay! The camp setting is shoddy as fuck and you can tell who does this for real and who our cast is. I have to sit through a shitty rap act that even Vanilla Ice could top, and NO amount of skin evens out the ratio of the fucking 33764373 lb. ASS I HAD TO LOOK AT!!! Your only saving grace is the fact Dickey is hot and crazy as hell (that's how the Cap'n likes 'em) and the end was decent.
Other than that, fuck you and your crap movie, Quinn!Hide Full Review
I'm runnin' outta yellow flags to throw. I'm gonna have to resort to socks pretty soon. I don't eve ...
What a great cover. I remember the cover for this movie, back in the day, a wide-eyed young pup skipping down the horror aisle with a fistful of dollars and a pocket full of dreams; there was the VHS box with a hot cheerleader jumping in the air, her too-short shirt flying up, half exposing her ample breasts but OH GOD HER FACE IS A SKULL AND IT'S WINKING AT ME - does it get better than that?
In fact, it does - you can always remember that great box (heh) and never actually watch the movie. My childhood is ruined.
One person described this movie as a giallo type movie, and it actually hadn't occurred to me until they said that, but yeah - it's more about the mystery than watching teenagers die. On purpose? Probably not. The movie was smack in the middle of the late 80's slasher mania that started to become self-referential, and this was just another entry.
Honestly, I hate that. We're in the same cycle now with horror movies and slashers now and for the most part they all just suck. Bits of "comedy" are splashed around the movie, though near the end it becomes more of an actual slasher, and we actually see blood and a few intestines. The first part is all cheerleading drama and fat people mooning the camera and therefore ruining my day/week. When the blood starts actually running (the first few kills are implied), it kind of tonally shifts to a different movie.
Doesn't really offer much, film wise or sub-genre wise. Plus, despite the obvious ploy to bring people in with nudity, only one scene has any at all. The ending, despite being out of left field and kind of pointless, at least has the killer getting away with everything, kind of nice.
Keep this bit of nostalgia in the past where it belongs. On another note, I never realized Jigsaw's wife started out as a cheerleader. Maybe that'll be a plot point in the next entry?Hide Full Review
What a great cover. I remember the cover for this movie, back in the day, a wide-eyed young pup skip ...
Random violence - yes
Pointless nudity - yes
Uppercut - no
"Feel the Spirit" - no
36,452 lb. man ass! -yes
A FUCKING 267,847 lb. MAN ASS!!! - yes
Thought I heard opportunity knocking around here somewhere.
FAT - MAN - ASS!!!
The hell did he say?!
Why make anything blatantly obvious? That's just silly.
I know he doesn't think he's cool with those shirts.
I see, that must be his gimmick.
Does Lief Garret always have to find a reason to run around in his fucking underwear?!
Don't get up. Don't get up.
You better hope it's April Fool's.
Brent - "Yeah, well, I still think you're beautiful and your eyes told me to come over here."
Cheerleader - "Well my lips are telling you to go."
Pop - "Line of duty my ass. Line of dirty's more like it."
Bonnie - "I wish she'd care more about the team than getting honey on her muffin."
Pop - "The one in the orange shirt make your PP harder than a 10lb. pack of nickel jawbreakers, now what I mean?"
Alison - "She's dead, Brent."
Brent - "She's not dead."
Alison - "You don't know that."