The Haloran family has a problem. Kathleen, the youngest sibling and only daughter, died a long time ago. Mom, however, can't seem to move on, as every year they have a ceremony that includes throwing flowers on the grave and Mom fainting.
Louise, who is interested in getting the inheritance from the family, kills one brother John and then travels to the castle in Ireland to try and get in good graces with the family, pretending John is on a trip.
However, her plans are laid to rest when a killer begins making the rounds through the castle, killing all who get in the way. Who is the mysterious killer? If you can't guess within the first five seconds, quit watching movies forever!
3.5 out of 10 (Based on 1 ratings, 
Louise - Luana Anders
Richard - William Campbell
Billy - Bart Patton
Dr. Caleb - Patrick Magee
Lady Haloran - Ethne Dunne
Directed and Written by - Francis Ford Coppola
Francis Ford Coppola (yeah, the same one that made the Godfather series and Apocalypse Now) directed this horrible excuse for a flim-flam while under the wing of horror maestro Roger Corman. I'm amazed after seeing this that anyone gave him money to do anything else, but we all have to start somewhere, right?
To be honest, the movie was ridiculous. The plot was utterly nonsensical and scenes had no bearing on one another. Plot points went flying away like the stupid owl that appears halfway in as a grim reminder that 'scares' mean 'loud noises.' Oh yes, you thought that was just from today's audiences' short attention spans? Oh no, they definitely existed back in the 60's, and this is an example.
I'm really wondering about the killer's choice of murder weapon. The axe he uses is just as inconsistent as the rest of the movie. One scene, he kills a woman by repeatedly chopping STRAIGHT INTO HER FACE, and all that happens is she gets some blood on her cheek.
The next time he appears, he takes one lazy swipe at a guy's neck, and the head goes rolling down the hill.
The next time we see the axe, the killer uses it as a bludgeon to open a wooden shack door. He chops and chops...at first, the shack shakes, then the entire thing begins to collapse in on itself! But then, we see the killer chopping at the door, and the axe can't even break the wood!
This really is in line with the rest of the movie. Though the dialogue isn't all that bad (note the Best Lines down below, there wasn't much to choose from), most of the characters are useless, the family is from Ireland and has NO accent at ALL (yeah, they studied in America, give me a break), the plot is throwaway and really has no bearing on anything, and from what I can tell there is no indication that FFC was going to become the powerhouse he is now.
But see? No matter how badly you start out, you learn from your mistakes and you are golden, baby. It's an inspirational film! I get it now! 10's everywhere! But no.
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Francis Ford Coppola (yeah, the same one that made the Godfather series and Apocalypse Now) directed ...
Accents - no
Pointless mickeymousing - yes
Excess voice over - yes
Failed jump scares galore - yes
Script - no
Extreme close-up of a painting!
Was that a llama?
Whoa, insta-smile.
Pointless slo-mo!
This guy doesn't like hand objects apparently.
All that chopping with the axe only made her face bloody?
Super hair swish!
Pointless owl...in a cave?
Damn that axe got sharp! One swipe, head is gone!
The house is collapsing because of the axe chops? What is going on here?
Now it can't even chop through wood???
Oh, that's convenient exposition.
Hey, that was unnecessary.
Caleb - "Now hurry with that lunch or I will wish five years of spinsterhood on you."
Caleb - "Dolls? Now this is ridiculous."
Drunk - "I seen her at the chemist about two days ago."
Caleb - "Thanks."
Drunk - "Thank you."
