Jess Franco is back at the helm with another one. Chock full of what he normally brings to the table, this wonderful *sarcasm* tale tells the story of a an artist who makes a deal with Satan. I dunno, apparently for his glory, yadda yadda he has to trade his daughter who Satan comes back to cl*ZZZZZzzzzz*
Lorna/Lucy - Carina Palmer
Johan Harker - Carsten Frank
Rosa Harker - Lina Romay
Fata Morgana
Steve Barrymore
Ezequiel Cohen
Directed by - Jess Franco
Written by - Jess Franco
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Satan couldn't be more repulsive
I purchased this thinking the film was an earlier work of Franco's and the storyline was interesting. Fortunately, I was wrong!
Not only was this shot 3 years ago, I come to find out that all the women in Spain shave and the men don't? *shiver* Why does everyone look like they were hit in the face with a shovel when they weren't looking? I wonder if this was made with a group of 40somethings sitting around playing "Extreme Jenga" or that same age bracket who are married and need to spice up their love life. If that's the case, I want a divorce. There are only two broads who weren't revolting, but that's only when they weren't showing their faces. The movie itself was a damn joke. The dubbing was horrible and annoying as all hell. The whole damnass thing was a fucking trainwreck! So why the 4?
The naked cartwheel.
I quit.
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Satan couldn't be more repulsive ...
Pointless nudity *bleakth*- yes
Pointless sex as a result of pointless nudity- yes
Pointless violence- yes
Uppercuts- no
Terrible dubbing- yes
Pointless everything else-yes
Naked cartwheel-yes
If that's Satan, then we're gonna have a huge movment of born-again Christians.
I'm Darkwing Duck, bitches! Don't you see the cape?!
The fuck is that, bean paste?!
Why does everyone stare like that?!
That guy can play the piano AND drums at the same time even though he's not really playing anything?! Awesome!
That is NOT the same artwork!
Well heello!
Aw my fucking cripes all Fridays! Man-everything!
Dude, that's your daughter.
Dude, seriously, that's your daughter.
As if the snake is going to save this movie?
A fucking naked cartwheel, whyyy not?!
I dunno what the fuck she's doing, you ask her.
Note to self: Fucking ugly people + fucking ugly nudity + fucking ugly sex= A great movie!
How in the hell did I find all of this asleep?!
I dunno I gave up, keep scrollin'
The audio was so jacked throughout most of the movie I couldn't even fucking tell what they were sayin' half the time anyway! Hell I don't even know what they really said with the half-assed dubbing anyway! ***Update by Fox: I managed to strain my poor ears enough to grab some samples of how great this movie is.
Rosa - "You can't compare. This wonderful spread. With that shit they give you on the plane."
Johan - "This is an homage to your tits."
Rosa - "Something wrong with her. And you. And probably me too."
Lorna - "If you fight against me, and if you will fight against me, then you will lose."
Maid - "Would you like to have breakfast?"
Johan - "Get out of here! Go to hell!"








