Director Richard Kelly's all star follow up to the cult hit "Donnie Darko." The film takes place in post apocalyptic Los Angeles, where amnesia stricken action star Boxer Santos must find a way to stop the world from ending while juggling his wife Madeline (daughter of the President) and porn star mistress Krysta. All the while, an underground conspiracy holds the key to Boxer's past and the future of the world.
Boxer - Dwayne Johnson
Taverner - Seann William Scott
Krysta - Sarah Michelle Gellar
Cydni - Nora Dunn
Nana - Miranda Richardson
Pilot - Justin Timberlake
Madeline - Mandy Moore
Serpentine - Bai Ling
Walter - Christopher Lambert
Zora - Cheri Oteri
Bart - John Lovitz
Veronica - Amy Poehler
Martin - Lou Taylor Pucci
Written and Directed by - Richard Kelly
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Most of this film showcases the central character Boxer Santaros in a confused state. Talk about empathizing.
One thing director Richard Kelly likes to do (going on the fact the guy has only made two films in his career, the last being Donnie Darko (2001)) is make the audience feel as if they are apart of something not only bigger than the characters he creates, but bigger than any possible brain cell to comprehend.
This film is convoluted with too many characters, a lengthy time frame (2 hrs 24 minutes) and plot line that meanders so badly that if you can keep up you may need your cranium examined.
Where "Donnie Darko" lead us down the "rabbit hole" so to speak, "Tales" can't decide whether to tell a straight story or be an awkward and unfunny comedy. And then, it happens.
About 20 minutes into the film, Kelly's strange and irritatingly klunky dialogue goes from rupturing your ear drums to soflty calming the viewer into a trance. The silly names (Boxer? Krysta Now? Private Pilot?) begin to sound reasonable. Some where in this insanity, there is some glimmer of coherency at the end of a dark tunnel. Even if the guy who once played a Highlander (Christopher Lambert) sells guns on the black market out of an ice cream truck. Even if Justin Timberlake makes a music video during the film by lip sinking to "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier." Even if important side characters are played by a slew of SNL alum. I was just waiting for a Chevy Chase sighting.
Speaking of sightings, how many cameos from major celebrities can one film have? Okay, maybe Eli Roth being a major celebrity is a stretch, but hey, I know who the guy is.
Once you've decided to drink the kool-aid and will never abandon the ride, the film is quite enjoyable. Even if the film seems like it would have faired better if it opened in the early '80s.
The allegory of our current world situation is nice, but somewhat beating a dead horse. With all the media coverage of the "War on Terror," it is hard to find any necessity in this film's existence. Yet, there it is. Sitting on the wall at a Blockbuster near you.
At the very least, the film does deliver a few laughs. None of which seem to be intended. However, "Tales" arguably has the best line of any film ever made. It is delivered to perfection by Dwayne Johnson (aka The Rock). "I'm a pimp. And pimp's don't kill themselves." That brings me back to when The Rock was still in the ring kicking "candy asses" left and right. Fond memories indeed.
Perhaps the world will end someday in a violent explosion. Will it be beyond our control is the only true question. I wonder where the world would be if Al Gore actually took the White House in 2000. This film might have never existed, which brings up another important question. Is it better to have lived and died, than to never existed at all?
Is it better to live and die having never seen this film?
I say no, but I wonder what my future self would think.
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Most of this film showcases the central character Boxer Santaros in a confused state. Talk about emp ...
Random violence - yes
Gratuity - yes
Insanity - yes
Coherent - no
Micro-cameos by Kevin Smith, Janeane Gorafalo and Eli Roth
"Donnie Darko" alumni Holmes Osborne and Beth Grant
Boxer - "I'm a pimp. And pimps don't kill themselves."









