*Blatant-metaphoric-happy-fun-time*Two entrancing women walking towards each other from opposite ends down a dark alley. One wears a shirt with the words ‘Daughters of Darkness’. The other wears the same tight shirt labeled ‘Vampyres’. The two end up face to face. The woman wearing ‘Vampyres’ asks ‘Daughters of Darkness’, “Where’s my 20 dollars?”. ‘Daughters of Darkness’ cattily answers back “I ain’t got ya 20 dollars!”. Before she even finishes, ‘Vampyres’ blasts an uppercut to 'Daughters of Darkness''s stomach and smashes her face into the pavement. 'Vampyres' camly reaches into the other’s wallet and takes her money and walks away. One may inquire about where 'Vampyros Blueballsos' is, however, there is no use as she was left folded and in a dumpster at the end of the alley where 'Vampyres' rolled up. *End-blatant-metaphoric-happy-fun-time*

Yes, you have read correctly. In the Cap’n’s opinnin’ this is the film that “Daughters of Darkness” should have been and “Vampyros Tease-os” will never be. ‘L’ flavored or not, I can’t say enough how much I appreciate this damn film; and that’s aside from all of the obvious reasons that jump out. *hehehe* The story is pretty damn basic, but the Mr. Larraz and Co. are able to craft and intertwine everything so well to bring forth one awesome showing.

The countryside scenery in Englund and mansion used was definitely pleasing to the eye so much so as the wonderful camerawork by Mr. Larraz. One of my favorite sequences is when the character “Harriet” decides to go snooping around in the cellar only to have the viewer carefully exposed to the “skeletons in the closet” so to speak. Of course, “Harriet” is completely clueless all the while which makes it that much better. Of course with the great locale with atmosphere we get great writing from again, Mr. Larraz and you can’t lose. It’s able to, in my opinion; completely throw out the pre-judgmental notion of “just another exploitation flick”. Enough bantering on that front. Now to the good stuff. Yeah you get man-“stuff”, but that is more than made up for it ten-fold by the *oh so dIZamn lovely* duo of Marianne Morris (Fran) and Anulka Dzuibinska (Miriam). It also doesn’t help that the two were far from shy in the least and not once did it ever get old. MmmMmm great!!!

Both did very well with “Fran” as the more mysterious, seasoned, vet and “Myriam” as the, well, opposite of that. And damnit if Ms. Morris couldn’t flick her tongue and make her words taste anymore sinfully good. The relationship between runs a bit deeper than one might think. Their true ferocity is very well hidden through most of the film as you see their two different sides. The average man (or woman) would never think twice about them ripping him (or her *hehe* to shreds, but step into their parlor if he wish and woe be unto he. These womens is hardcore! In fact, I applaud the whole cast, victim or not. . The ‘twist of lime’ ending is well received, too as it is left open with a…well, I’m not gonna say. That’s not how I roll! I ramble enough about the positive, so now the negatives, albeit, very very minor. I don’t understand how they cannot be out during the day, yet when they do their “dirty” work, it is obviously still daylight. Just because you use the word ‘evening’ in your lines does not sell me that it is nighttime.

I could go on and on about this damn fine piece or art, but alls I will state is that I haven’t seen to many films manage to completely backup the “lesbian-vampiric-exploitation” façade with a well executed story and film overall. If you don’t take our word for it, I am sure there are other sites that would agree with us about this film. Thumb your nose if you so choose. You’ll be the one missing out. Sadly enough, Ms. Morris or Ms. Dzuibinska did not go on to have really prominent and overly successful film careers. Pardon me while I cry ‘foul!’ to that. I still wonder what would happen if their voices had been used and not been dubbed with others as well. “Vampyres” is more than well worth the time and the extra space on your shelf to add to your collection.

Fuck a damn rental, own this mother!

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