Man, get ready to go to...

Nowhere. An hour and a half, all that keeps you going is weird cheeseburger sex and the rare kickin beat.

It starts out with promise. They aren't cheating in this one. Right off the bat we have two people in their b-day suits. Then it just stalls out as they try to develop some kind of character relationships. They didn't even try for a story, or a plot really. Just mainly three relationships.

Don't expect much excitement, or many laughs out of this one. The occasional bass pumping music and Casio synthesizer might get you up dancing though.

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We've seen a lot of plotless, aimless movies during our time working on this website, but I'm really trying to think if we've ever seen anything THIS plot 'n aimless before. I really don't think so. Watching this movie is like going to an amusement park (like, say, Magic Mountain in Valencia) and just watching other people ride the rides and play games...while they have lots of sex. It's dumber'n hell, the acting is terrible, and absolutely nothing happens besides the mild, mild drama at the end concerning Bobby and his main squeeze.

But, for some stupid reason, I kind of enjoyed myself.

Maybe it's the fact that the movie mainly serves as a photograph of a place in time. Maybe it's the "fish out of water" way we're thrown in, alongside Bobby, into a world full of fast cars and takin' on the man. Maybe it's the ridiculous amount of rampant, pointless nudity. Whichever one, I at least enjoyed my time on Van Nuys Boulevard.

It reminded me a little of the old surfin' movies, which often had the same "plot;" watch a bunch of kids dance on the beach, have fun, and thwart the cops/the man in their pursuit of dancing on the beach and having fun. Except in this case, the cop/man is chained to his car twenty minutes into the movie and spends the rest of the running time trying to get free. So, no real thwarting necessary.

One other problem with the "narrative" is the reason Bobby leaves his mid-Western yuck of a town. Yeah, he has a rough job doing...something, but he sees Van Nuys on the TV and decides to hit the trail and check it out. While watching said news story, his hot & completely nude girlfriend is asking him to have sexual intercourse with him.

Maybe at least try a little here? Have her be a total prude or something, so he seeks out the free and easy sexual escapades of the West coast? Or how about keeping the naked girl, but she won't go "all the way." Give us SOMETHING, for crying out loud!

If you stumble upon this for rental, maybe give it a shot. Don't go seeking it out for any reason. But give it a once through and you might be find the cruisin' culture and the depictions of an era gone by at least mildly amusing.

I'm still pissed about the gorilla, though.

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