Argh! Why. Doooooes. Theeeeeeee. Maiiiiin. Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaraaaaaacccterrrr. Taaaaalk. Soooo. Fuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkiiiiiiiing. Sloooooooooww????

And the dude's name is MONTAG!

*Pant* Ok, I had to get that out real quick. That name, I think anyway, trumps Yog Kothag as the dumbest villain name ever. Sounds like a car, or something:

"Come down and test drive the new Honda Montag today! Only 5995937 down payment, and a free mannequin included! And it won't eviscerate you, we promise!"

Anyway, the movie is by H.G. Lewis, so you know what to expect: gore, absolutely horrid acting, gore, no budget, gore, bad dialogue, gory gore gore, no plot or editing, and a wizard. Well, you expect that from the title anyway.

I had a good time watching this one, honestly. It was a riot; the guts, the editing skips around like they threw the celluloid pieces up in the air and hot glued at random...the movie is completely awful by any standard. It was to be expected, though, so I wasn't offended.

However, there is a rather large problem, and it's the timing. The movie moves soooo slow, and for absolutely no reason. Montag talks like each word he says is a complete thought, and seriously like an hour is him standing around talking about what he's about to do. There are about 15,000 sub-plots that have no rhyme or reason surrounding them. Why are the hands bloody? Why is he stealing the bodies of the people he kills (or whatever)? Why is a freaking SPORTS WRITER investigating the crimes? And what the hell is with the ending? It has a stupid twist finale that is completely thrown in, and makes sitting through the rest of the movie even worse.

Like I said, it's gory as shit. Women are eviscerated, cut in half, their brains ripped out; all in glorious gore-o-vision, and Lewis doesn't hold anything back, and I can appreciate that. I think that there is some underlying message about violence on T.V. hidden somewhere in the midst, but it's lost in the jumble of bad acting and utterly non-sensical structure of the movie. The music is a riot; what it sounds like to me is somebody, let's call him Bob, douses his friend Wayne's Sony My First Keyboard on fire. Wayne then comes in and starts stomping on the keyboard to put out the flames. Bob then records it, and sells it to Lewis for a buck o' five. The End. Hmmm...that story was more suspenseful than the whole of this movie. I should make a film!

I'm going to say, if you are a gorehound, rent this shlockfest. For all the rest of you, you might check it out for the great death scenes and a premise that could've been so much more awesome had they spent more time on it. Luckily the writer Allen Kahn only made one more movie besides this!

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Other than the occasional slow part and far stretched "point" to the movie, this one was pretty good. We got this one as a viewer recommendation, so it's nice to know you all have pretty good taste as well :).

This movie has quite a few key elements, but the one that tops the list is the cheesy attempt at showing gore. I don't think they were trying to make this stuff look real at all. Paper Maché heads? Got it. Lots of cow/pig/chicken guts/gizzards/parts? Got it. Oh yeah, and don't forget the tons and tons of fake blood.

Some of my favorite parts were the comatose audience, "Look Look NOOO!" boyfriend, attempt to grow a unibrow by Montag, and lack of continuity.

I'll recommend this one for a rental, and if you like it, don't return it and pay the $5 purchase fee.

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